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A Bowl of Cherries or the Pits
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Low Life May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry. For my soul is full of trouble, and my life draws night
to the grave…. You have taken from me my closest friends, and have made me
repulsive to them. I am confined and can not escape; my eyes are dim with grief.
Psalms 88:2-3, 8-9a. Cursed be the day I was born!
May the day my mother bore me not be blessed! Jeremiah 20:10 I have walked many a darkened
pathway in my life. Some of led into pits of despair and depression. Back in
late 1972, I was in seminary, aiming to be a Methodist minister. Unfortunately,
that was also a period of spiritual crisis for me, when I questioned everything
I had been taught was true. Was there even a God, and, if there was, did he care
what happened to ordinary people? Not only did I have serious doubts, but I
looked around me at the seminary, and saw drunkards, homosexuals, and others who
seemed no different than anybody else in the world. After six weeks, I quit. For over two years, the overriding
emotions in my life were doubt and depression. I grew cynical, questioning the
motives of everyone I met. After several months of unemployment, I got a job
with the state of West Virginia, through the good offices of a relative. I was
still desperately unhappy, and decided to go to graduate school. At first,
things in Chapel Hill were no better than they had been in Charleston; at one
point, I seriously contemplated suicide. By God's grace, he directed to a small
congregation of loving Christian people who loved me back to sanity. That period was the worst, but
there have been many others, some long, some short. Very often, the time
following a bout of despondency is a very productive one for me. Once the dam
breaks, everything flows out in a rush. That was what happened about this time
last year, as I've shared with you before. I just came out of what I can only
describe as the "winter blahs." The technical name, they say is, appropriately,
"SAD," or seasonal affective disorder. Depression, which has elements of
self-hatred, anger, and hopelessness, is a very common part of our existence.
Some of the greatest figures in the Bible experienced it, from David, to
Jeremiah, to John the Baptist. In prison, and facing the prospect of death, John
the Baptist began to doubt the whole foundation of his ministry. He sent some of
his followers to Jesus to ask if he really was the Messiah, something he had
earlier proclaimed with great fervor. Depression has many causes, but
many of them amount to jumping to the wrong conclusions. Making mountains out of
molehills, believing self-fulfilling prophecies of failure and disaster, and
drawing sweeping conclusions based on very few facts are just a few. My purpose
here is not so much to look at the causes, though, as the solutions. One of the worst consequences of
depression, and one that makes it most difficult to treat, is the desire to be
alone. Not only do we enjoy less fellowship with other people, but we also tend
to draw back from our relationship with Christ. I know how easy that is to do; I
did it for many years. I've learned finally to deliberately seek out the company
and counsel of others in the down times. The friendship and love of the church
and Chapel Hill drew me out of the deepest pit I was ever in. Those people are
gone from my life now, but I have a niece who's closer than a sister, and a
brother and sister in Christ that I trust with my darkest secrets. Everyone
needs someone to talk to, about anything and at any time. In Christ, we
all have someone like that; our Lord Jesus. Besides talking to others, and to
the Lord, we need to talk to ourselves. Self-talk is one of the main ways we
cope with the realities of life. We need to ask ourselves if the problems that
concern us so much are really so great in the scheme of things. Are we thinking
rationally, or with our emotions? What evidence is there that the situation is
really as bad as we think? We can ask the Lord's help here, as well. The Holy
Spirit is both the Comforter and the Counselor. Activity is a good antidote for
depression. It is very common for someone who is depressed to sit around doing
very little or nothing, which only serves to feed the depression. Even if what
we're doing is not very productive, or a lot of fun, we must find something
to burn energy and occupy our minds. Better still, we should seek out something
we can do with other people. Long-term, clinical depression has
no easy solutions, and I'm not really addressing that here. Sometimes, this
condition results from a chemical imbalance, and sometimes there are deep-seated
emotional problems underneath. Though people with that degree of the problem
certainly need Christian fellowship and prayer, they also need medical attention
and counseling. Those of us with family or friends with severe depression should
never assume that "they'll snap out of it," or that "it's all in their heads."
Sometimes the end result for people so caught up in despair is suicide, or
murder. We should always take any threat of suicide very seriously, and
seek professional assistance. The opposite of depression is joy, which we experience only in Christ. Depression, doubt and despair are close cousins, and they hang out a lot together. If we begin to lose our joy in the Lord, they jump right in to fill the void. The only way to avoid depression is to abide in Christ, and the only sure way to pull out of it is to renew our fellowship with the Lord. Whatever problem we face in life, Jesus is the solution. |