Jesus Is the Bridge Ministries

Key Verse: Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Divorce is extremely common in our society. Something in the neighborhood of 40 to 50% of all marriages end that way in the United States. Although the cause is sometimes adultery, more often some equivalent of the phrase "irreconcilable differences" is used as the justification. Whatever the motives -- differences over money, personality clashes, abuse, affairs -- a divorce happens when one or both of the marriage partners decide they no longer can, or no longer want to, remain in the relationship. Besides the emotional damage that results in the couple themselves, the most heartbreaking victims are often those who have no control over what happens, the children.

All of us are familiar with that part of the classic marriage vows that says "until death us do part". In the view of scripture the relationship between a man and his wife was so intimate that the two became one body, or one flesh (Ephesians 5:31, quoting from Genesis 2:24). It was also likened, by Paul, to the relationship between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:23-25). Under the Mosaic law, however, divorce was easily accomplished; the husband just told the wife, in essence, to leave (Deuteronomy 24:1). The idea that marriage was a binding contract not easily dissolved, as Christ expressed here, was a revolutionary idea in ancient society, and formed the basis for civil law regarding marriage for almost 1,900 years in Christian societies. Until very recently, within the last fifty years or so, getting a divorce in the United States was very difficult in most places, and a long waiting period was involved. Now, the process is rather simple, unless the divorce is contested, and people in a great hurry to break their vows can go to somewhere like Reno, Nevada, and speed up the process even more.

The stand of the Bible on divorce in the New Testament is quite clear, as indicated by Christ's statement in this passage from Matthew. Unless sex outside the marriage relationship, or fornication, is involved, a divorce precludes remarriage. There is no direct statement that the divorce itself is a sin, only that marrying someone else after a divorce constitutes adultery. The Catholic church would deny that a marriage should ever be dissolved, even if fornication is involved. Getting a divorce in a Catholic country, where civil law still reflects church doctrine, is all but impossible.

The Bible does mention another situation when ending a marriage relationship is acceptable, called the "Pauline exception". If a Christian has an unbelieving spouse, Paul said, and the spouse leaves voluntarily, then the Christian is not bound to the relationship in such cases, though there is no specific mention of divorce (1 Corinthians 7:12-16).

One point is worth mentioning: the Bible does not say a man or woman should remain in a house where there is abuse, mental or physical. Whether or not such a relationship ultimately ends in divorce, there is no benefit for an abused spouse remaining in such a situation, and there may be great personal danger.

So assuming for the moment that a marriage ends in a divorce for a reason other than fornication, should a Christian refrain from marrying again? That is a personal issue, and can be resolved only by seeking God's counsel. If, as often happens, a divorced Christian does get married again, the sin of adultery may hang over the relationship. It is not, however, the unpardonable sin, and such relationships often proceed very happily. The issue should, in any event, be addressed by both people involved before the marriage proceeds. It is quite common for the shadow of a previous relationship to hang over even the happiest marriages.

What if the person involved never remarries? If the other spouse does, then the person initiating the divorce causes that spouse to commit adultery. If neither one ever remarries, there is no indication that the act of divorce itself constitutes a sin, though there may be attitudes and behavior associated with it, such as failing to forgive, that do constitute sin.

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