Notes on 1 Corinthians 7

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

The real issues in this chapter don't really have to do with marriage, but with priorities and personal holiness.  Placing God first in our lives means putting other relationships after him, including the relationship of husband and wife.  If the marriage relationship does not exist at all, then there is no question of its superseding our relationship with the Lord.  For most people, though, celibacy is not an option.  The sexual impulse, the urge to reproduce, is one of the most powerful natural drives we have to deal with.  Few of us possess the measure of self control needed to get through our lives without ever giving in to sexual desire.  For that great majority of Christians who cannot control their urges, it is much better, Paul says, to marry, than to burn with lust, and be corrupted by it.

"Benevolence" as used here means conjugal duty; sex, or the withholding of it, should never be used as a weapon in a marriage, as it often is in the world.  The mutual agreement to refrain from it for a time is in the nature of a fast, which does not always involve abstinence from food, though the passage also indicates this abstinence may be accompanied by fasting from food.  A fast is the temporary sacrifice of something of great value to us for the purpose of dedicating ourselves more fully to prayer, often for a specific need.  Paul indicates that this particular instruction, about temporary abstinence from sex, is something he is sharing by way of wisdom from the Lord, but not as actual commandment of something that has to be done.  The ability to remain unmarried, without giving into lust, is a gift from God, Pauls says, and not everyone possesses it.

10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

The word "depart" here means to separate, but seems to encompass the idea if divorce, since a wife would not be unmarried, in our terms, if she simply was physically separated from her husband.  The primary teaching on divorce comes from our Lord himself, who said there should be none except for adultery, which effectively terminates the relationship.  Paul's further teaching about the ending of a marriage by an unbelieving spouse, the so-called Pauline exception, implies that there is a difference in God's eyes when it comes to such marriage relationships.  Though the marriage is sanctified as long as the two remain together, for the sake of the believing partner, the departure of the unbelieving spouse has the effect of ending God's sanction.  That's only my interpretation.  The passage also indicates that the children born out of a relationship between a believer and a nonbeliever are sanctified in God's sight for the sake of the believing parent.  There is no indication anywhere in Scripture of the need for infant baptism to consecrate a child.

Apart from the usual benefits of a marriage relationship, one key potential benefit is that the unbelieving spouse may be saved by the witness of the one who believes.  While this may well happen, and is glorious when it is done, a Christian should never enter into a marriage with a nonbeliever expecting that their spouse will be saved.  That is a very dangerous conceit, and more often than not results in years of heartache and disappointment.

17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant.
23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

This passage goes back to the idea of priorities, of maintaining what is most important in life, not our economic or social state, but our relationship with the Lord.  Whether we happen to be Jews or Gentiles, slaves or free, we should be content to be what we are, and not pursue vain ambitions to improve our lot in life.  We should take advantage of opportunities of what God sends our way, such as a chance at freedom for a slave, but the important thing is what we are in God's eyes.  He does not distinguish between races or nationalities, Jews of Gentiles, or based on our social standing; all of us are the same in his eyes.  (Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.)  Although our occupation may be as a servant, and to some degree most employees are if they work with the public, we should never have any ultimate authority in our lives but Christ.  That fact should control what we are and are not willing to do in the course of our jobs, or our roles in any relationships, including marriage.  We should not do something that conflicts with the commandments of God's Word, especially the law of love.  Our calling here means, not just our occupation, but our part in the fulfillment of God's plan, whether in marriage or out, or whether in full-time ministry or day-to-day service to the Lord.

25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

Again, one of the issues here, perhaps the main one, is whether being sanctified, or set apart for God's use, is better served by remaining unmarried.  A married couple may well give priority to one another's needs, rather than to service to God.  Even married couples, Paul says, should act in their relationship with God as if they were not married at all.  In other words, the Lord should still be first in order of importance in their lives.  As to our other priorities in the world, whether making a living or raising children or whatever else, or whatever other relationship, none of them should take the place of our commitment to Christ.  The decision of whether or not to marry is not a matter of sinning or not sinning, apart from giving into lust, but of what is best.  If someone possesses sufficient self-control to remain unmarried without giving into lust, that is what is best for him or her.  Marriage and childrearing can indeed be distractions in our service to the Lord, particularly if they become our top priorities, and the Lord takes second or third place.

The last few verses apply to both widows or widowers, but the former are more common.  The obligation to to remarry ends with the death of the spouse, but the issue of whether to remarry at that point has the same issues as the decision of whether or not to get married initially.  Paul addresses this particular issue at some length with Timothy (1 Timothy 5:3-16).